We have some cool new Things for the office. Some are useful and some are just plain goofy, but my favorites are these threeThings that do double-duty on your desk.

Creepy mice! You'll never find a creepier or cooler mouse for your computer. These glow-in-the-dark optical mice are fully functional with two buttons and a scroll wheel, but they also come with someThing a little extra: bugs! Yep. There are real creepy-crawlers embedded in each mouse. Your choice: scorpion or spider. Of course, I had to have both. Hey! I have a home office, too!

Skull USB Hub: Now this Thing I like for the same reason I like a lot of our Things: my sister hates it. It's a solid resin piece that can stand up to lots of desktop abuse. The jaw has 4 high-speed USB 2.0 ports and the scooped-out skull is perfect for holding pens, candy, paperclips or other little Things that clutter up your desk. Of course, I couldn't use mine for just office supplies. I had to tuck a few fake severed fingers in there for maximum gross-out effect.

Zamboni Desk Vac: As our copywriter pointed out, we seem to have some mysterious love affair with the Zamboni. Admit it, don't you want to drive one? Of course you do. So do I. But I know this is about as close as I'll get to the real Thing so I had to have it for my desk. Our scaled-down version lets you "drive" your own Zamboni. Hopefully, you don't have any blood or broken teeth to clean off of your desktop, but it does a fine job on dust and potato chip crumbs, too.

Of course, we have lots of Things for your office, but I think these are the most fun. I mean, why just buy a mouse or a USB port or a mini vac when you can have all these great Things that entertain you while they're doing their job?

I'd better get going. My Zamboni and I have work to do! See you next week,

Bobby

Funny or scary? Sexy or creepy? Silly or gory? Decisions, decisions, decisions. I usually have my Halloween costume picked out by this time of year, but we have so many new funny costumes that I just can't decide. Here are my top five. Which one will you choose?

#5 - Hip Hop Homeboy: He's the hippest homey in the hood. What I love about this costume is that pants and underwear are actually attached, meaning you don't have to worry about embarrassing slippage. Add sunglasses, some bling and don't forget the inflatable boom box. Of course, for maximum annoyance, you could carry a real one.

#4 - Ring Toss: This one pretty much explains itself. The moment you walk into the party, everyone will know where your mind (and everyThing else) is at. It comes with everyThing you need, including rings, peg and "prize" (winner gets a free ride.) I love this costume, but remember, we can't be responsible for slaps or drinks in the face.

# 3 - Party Animal: The ultimate, as a matter of fact. Complete with mask, shirt, funky shorts, a beverage belt and shotglass, this guy has everyThing he needs to make the Halloween scene. For some people I know, wearing this costume would be a lot like going as themselves.

#2 - Get A Room! The Double Occupancy costume is a one-piece pullover complete with bedmate and bedding. This is one of the funniest costumes I've seen this year. It's seriously in the running for my 2010 costume, but it has tough competition in my number one pick for a Hilarious Halloween:

#1 - Play Balls! Err..., I mean, play ball! Now this might be the one. What man wouldn't love to spend the entire party with his hands tucked inside his belt? (Without getting served with divorce papers later, I mean.) There are two reasons I'm thinking of choosing to be the best ball handler at the party this year: first, this Thing is just plain funny; second, it will ensure my sister spends the entire party rolling her eyes at me. And if my sister is giving me "the face," you know I did someThing right!

Happy Halloween! See you next week,

Bobby

You know if we sell a DVD it's going to be on the fringe, over the top, beyond the edge. In other words, interesting. Since it's so hot that even my dog turns up his nose at the outdoors, I figured this would be a good weekend for a DVD marathon. And I was right! We have some great new Things to watch and wonder about.

First, wouldn't you like to know who really runs the world? I would. This 3-DVD set, Secret Societies and the Global Conspiracy explores groups like the Freemasons, The Illuminati, The Knights of Templar and more. It asks the questions: is there a shadow government that rules not just a nation state, but the entire world? Is there a conspiracy to conceal knowledge and foster ignorance? Do these societies exist to protect or destroy? I can't wait to find out!

Hidden Agenda looks at the predicted end of humanity, which is supposed to happen in 2012. Did the ruling elite not only knew that the end would come in 2012 and manipulate societies according to occult forces? Creepy to think about. And what about 2012? Will the world end as the Mayans predicted? Ancient Code discusses our increasingly materialistic existence, our disconnect from nature and the world around us and explores the possibility that financial crisis, climate change and social mayhem are just symptoms of our upcoming extinction. It also claims it will reveal the Secret Code that lies within each of us. I'm definitely watching this one.

But maybe it isn't secret societies who run the world. Maybe it's the aliens! This DVD presents physical, biological and photographic evidence that we are not alone. From farmer Billy Meier's incredible photography to Travis Walton's account of being abducted, from crop circles to ancient archeology, UFOs and Close Encounters promises to reveal the alien agenda and the worldwide cover-up conspiracy. It's a 3-disc, 8-hour marathon look at UFOs and aliens on earth. I guess I should stock up on popcorn...s

Is the world really ruled by a super secret elite group of people? Will humanity meet its end in 2012? If aliens are visiting Earth, what do they want? I don't know if these DVDs will answer those questions yet, but I plan to have a nice, cool weekend in air conditioning in front of the TV trying to find out.

See you next week.

Bobby

Usually I write about silly Things or useful Things or just Things that catch my eye. But today, I have a story to tell. And the Thing it's about is courage.

Last night I spent a few hours with an old friend, a retired Air Force veteran. He was severely injured in the line of duty. No one really knew what happened, but now he's finally starting to talk about it. His is a story of incredible bravery and unimaginable horror. I'm not sure exactly how much I'm allowed to tell, so I'll call my friend "Marcus" and I won't say where he was fighting.

Marcus and his unit were patrolling when they were ambushed. Enemy troups had hemmed them in on three sides and were quickly closing the unit's only escape route. Marcus was shooting, running and yelling out to the soldiers behind him so they wouldn't get separated when he felt "a ball of fire explode" in his left shoulder. He'd been shot. Bad. He kept running. His only concern was to get himself and his unit out of the trap before enemy forces closed in. It was too late. The only way out was up. They had called for help, but they had no way of knowing if anyone could get to them in time.

They hunkered down and kept the enemy at bay for an incredible six hours. Finally, they heard helicopters in the distance. Marcus, weak and in "mind-bending pain," hoped they were "friendlies." They were. Two helicopters began firing on the enemy while a third flew into the center of the fighting to rescue the men on the ground. "You can't believe how loud it was," Marcus said. "The gunfire, the choppers, everyone screaming. I still can't hear too good." The area was too rough for the chopper to land, so the men were lifted one by one. But when it was Marcus' turn, he couldn't grasp the harness. His upper arm was destroyed and he'd lost a lot of blood. He motioned for the rest of his unit to go ahead and collapsed onto the ground.

"I couldn't grab anything," he said. "I knew I was going to die there in that foreign dirt."

The wind from the chopper got stronger and stronger. Marcus looked up. The helicopter was so close to the ground Marcus thought it would crash right on top of him, killing everyone. He tried to wave them away, but even his good arm was weak. The chopper edged even closer.

At this point in the story, Marcus' eyes began to fill and he choked back a swig of his warming beer before he continued, "I would have, you know. I would have died for my country and been proud to do it. But they weren't going to let me. They wouldn't leave me." His rescuer crouched in the chopper's doorway, waiting for a chance. When the helicopter was nearly touching the ground, the soldier laid on his belly, grabbed Marcus by his wounded arm and yanked him out of that foreign dirt. "It hurt like nothing you can believe when he took hold of that arm," Marcus said. "All I remember is the sound of my own screams."

Later, in the VA hospital, Marcus underwent another heroic fight -- to save his left arm. The doctors wanted to amputate, but Marcus refused. They warned of a long, long recovery time, infection, gangrene. If they did save the arm, they told him he'd have limited if any use of it. But Marcus is left-handed. "No way they were taking my left arm. No way." He underwent sixteen surgeries, fought off infections seven times and endured torturous physical therapy over a period of four years. And now? Unless he shows you the scars (which he will not) you would never know he'd been shot. And unless he tells you the story (which he just might) you'd never know how much we owe him. How much we owe all who serve and have served.

Why did I share this story with you? To honor both my friend and all the men and women who risk everything, every single day, on every corner of the globe. All gave some. Some gave all. Marcus gave all he had. And then he was willing to give more. That's a soldier. That's my friend Marcus.

Take the time to thank a soldier. Salute their courage. I'll see you next week.

Bobby

It's party season around here. Backyard barbecues, birthday parties, weddings and parties just for the sake of having a party. And then there's partying, which the whole point of summer vacation, right? Since I know you'll be invited a few parties--or at the very least invited to party--I picked out a few must-have party Things.

What's worse than losing track of your beer at a party? Now you can find it with the help of the ultimate beer drinker, Larry The Cable Guy. When you press the remote, the drink holder lights up and shouts out some of Larry's classic lines, so you can "git yer beer and git r done!" The remote has a 60-foot range and even works through solid walls. If you're not a beer drinker or you prefer to keep your party supplies on your person, our belt buckle flask is perfect. Just pop the flask off of its very stylish holder and bottoms up!

This drink hat not only holds your beverage for you, it lets you express yourself. The hat's brim conceals a built-in black light message board that displays any message you write. Note: We can't be responsible for the consequences if you write something that gets your new hat slapped off your head. The Booze Belly reminds me of the old bota bags, with a bit of a twist. It's designed to be hidden under your shirt. It holds 750ml of your favorite beverage and dispenses discreetly. No one will be the wiser! Unless you start acting silly. We can't be responsible for that, either.

And finally, you'll need something to wear that communicates your party frame of mind. Our t-shirts are just what you need to make your statement--loud and clear. I have all four of these, but my favorite is: "Beer costs less than gas. Drink, don't drive." Which reminds me: I like to party as much as anyone else, but we all need to remember to be responsible and be safe. Sometimes that's hard to do when you've had a few, so do yourself a favor and hand over those car keys before you start drinking. Trust me when I tell you parties and partying are a lot more fun when you start out knowing you don't have to drive home later!

So have fun and party to your heart's content. I'll see you next week.
Bobby

Hey, if the stores can do Christmas in July, we at Things can do Halloween in July, right? Besides, I'm always thinking about my favorite holiday. I start planning my costume for the following year as soon as the last trick-or-treater has come and gone. Here are five Things I like for Halloween 2010:

#5 - Stepbrother Costume: The creepiest of the creepy costumes I've seen so far. In a very realistic illusion, a puppet-style "little brother" creature seems to be coming out of your chest. The jacket, attached to the latex chest, hides your right hand so you can use the hidden control to animate the puppet and freak out your friends.

#4 - Wicked White Rabbit Mask: Not even the curious Alice would follow this wicked bunny down the rabbit hole. From Don Post's famous studios, this bug-eyed rabbit has fearsome teeth and a crazed expression. The full head mask is made of latex and PVC and though I didn't wear it long, it seems really comfortable for an all-night Halloween party.

# 3 - Brain Ice Cubes & Zombie Blood: Since Zombies are so popular right now, my number three pick is a pair of zombified party favors. What's a Halloween party without some brains scattered around the house? Make brain ice cubes in our uniquely shaped trays and fill the ice bucket or drop them into the drinks of the unsuspecting. And our blood energy drinks can give life even to the undead! The lime flavored "blood" gives you enough energy to fight the next battle with the undead. What's great--and creepy--about this stuff is it's made of iron, protein, caffeine and electrolytes, which is similar to the nutritional makeup of real blood! Gross, but tasty!

#2 - The Carstache: We dress ourselves, our kids and our pets for Halloween, why not our cars? Add a Carstache to your front grill and watch them stare as you pull up to the party. It's easy to attach and remove and isn't just for Halloween. Can you see yourself at a tailgate party with this Thing? I sure can! It's one of my favorites of our new and silly Things.

#1 - Spewing Corpse: This is the coolest Thing ever for your fog machine! Stuff the sleeves with newspaper, then arrange the creepy corspe so it looks like he's digging his way out of his grave. Hook him up to your fog machine and watch him spray the whole area in fog while his head turns from side to side. His plastic head is handpainted for ghastly realism and he's easy to set up, take down and store. So far, he's my favorite Halloween Thing. But there's always next week...

See you then,
Bobby

It's that time of year when we start getting all the cool Things for Halloween and the rest of the holiday season so it's my favorite time of year to poke around in the warehouse while the shipments are coming in. But they're so busy right now, they don't want an overgrown kid like me pawing through Things while they're trying to work. So I've been banished. Banished! Can you believe it? That's okay. It's only temporary. Soon, I'll be elbow deep in all the cool Things they've filled the shelves with. But this week, I'll have to talk about Things I saw on TV instead.

I had to have this Thing even before we offered it in our catalog. My drains are constantly clogged -- not with my hair, but my dog's. He's a long hair mutt who sheds like it's summer seven days a week, 365 days a year. Every time I give him a bath, my drain gets so clogged with dog fur you couldn't get a drop of water past it. Then I end up struggling to pull the tangled mess out of the drain with a bent wire hanger and when that doesn't clear it, pouring vinegar and baking soda followed by boiling pots of water down the drain. Until the Turbo Snake, nothing short of professional help could ever fully clear my bathtub drain. But with this Thing, you don't even have to take most drain stoppers out. You just insert the snake, twist and pull and the drain is clear! I love this Thing!

Another Thing I saw on TV and just had to try was the EZ Bundler. You can organize anyThing with this Thing. I used it to help my aunt when she was cleaning her garage. We bundled spare extension cords, old magazines, cardboard boxes and even piles of clothing she was donating to a local charity. It's pretty easy to use and it helps you makes neat little piles out of total chaos. Now I hadn't seen Mighty Mend It on TV and even if I had I probably wouldn't have bought it. I'm not big on sewing my torn clothes. The last time I tried to sew a button on, I sewed my jacket lapel to itself. And then the button fell off. Talk about insult to injury. With this stuff, you don't need needle and thread to fix Things like clothing and upholstery. Finally.

And how's this for a "green" Thing? Wash your car without water! Not only does Rejuvenate get rid of bug guts, bird poop, tree sap and road tar, it actually filled in the swirl marks left behind by my many not-so-thorough wash jobs. It's a magic mix of surfactants, polymers and Carnauba wax and it really works. My car looks almost brand new! Plus, it's the preferred car wash & wax of Nascar legend Darrell Waltrip. Hey, that's good enough for me. Use it with the Windshield Wonder and your car will look brand new, too. This Thing has a pivoting head that reaches into those impossible to reach corners on your interior windshield. And you don't need to use any harsh cleaning solutions because the micro fiber cloth leaves your windshield squeaky clean with just plain water.

I've watched all the TV I can watch this week. I sure hope they let me back in the warehouse soon. I'll see you next week,

Bobby

We have so many cool new Things in the warehouse! I was trying to come up with a blog theme as I was running from one Thing to the next, but all the Things I'm into right now are so random that I couldn't come up with anything. So here are five random and very cool Things that I'm into this week:

# 5 - Military Jungle Hat: Now a hat might not seem like an exciting Thing, but this hat is different. It's a perfect hat for beach outings or hikes with my dog. It's tough, made to military specs and it has mesh panels in the top to keep your noggin cool. It would also be great for fishing and boating because it has a chin strap and a brim that you can adjust for maximum sun shade. It's my new favorite hat.

#4 - The Zombie Combat Manual: Also a great beach companion, this book will tell you how to fend off the walking dead when the Zombie epidemic breaks. It's not only useful, it's funny. The illustrations are entertaining and you'll read lots of first-hand accounts of hand-to-hand combat with the dreaded undead.

#3 - Rock Star Finger Guitar: Now this Thing is just plain silly fun. My nieces and nephews love it and so do I. It's less than ten inches long, but it plays! You just hold a finger on the frets and strum to "play" an entire scale of guitar notes. You can play it freestyle or play along with the demo or you can use the step mode to learn to play the demo song on your own. And you can even record what you play.

#2 - Internet Radio: I listen to internet radio stations all the time, but my tiny little computer speakers don't do the music justice. With this Thing, I can listen on my home stereo. Which means I can acutally hear some bass in there! The wireless receiver connects to your computer network and your home stereo so you can stream any radio station at any time. It even works with Pandora! Plus, it has an easy-to-read LCD display, a headphone jack, an alarm clock, a sleep timer and it even comes with a remote control.

#1 - MST3K Volume 17: Mystery Science Theater 3000! I can't help myself, I'm a huge MST3K fan! And Volume 17 of this collection does not disappoint. Of course, with hosts Joel Robinson and Mike Nelson along with Crow T. Robot, Tom Servo and Gypsy, how could it fail? This four DVD set even includes Crow Vs. Crow at Dragon*Con '09! With 400 minutes of Mystery Science Theater 3000 hilarity, it's a must-have for MST3Kies.

I'm headed back to the warehouse to see what other random Things I can find! See you next week,

Bobby

The skies seem full of UFOs these days. From Malaysia to China to Europe, people are taking video with their cell phones and reporting UFOs to their governments and independent research groups. And all of this as an Italian euro-deputy calls for the establishment of a European UFO Center and demands that EU member states declassify all documents relating to unidentified flying objects. Coincidence? Beats me. Interesting that it's happening all at once though.

If "Europe's Roswell" really did happen, I'd like a look at those documents myself. In January of 1983, the Welsh village of Llanilar near Aberystwyth was buzzed by a strange flying craft, which hit trees, scattered shiny metal debris over four fields and flew off -- apparently unaffected.One farmer witnessed the debris and clean up operation; one national newspaper carried the story; one civilian investigation team made it to the site; one collection of strange metallic debris remains. Surely there must be classified documents to explain the debris and testimony in this DVD.

The Secret Evidence We Are Not Alone DVD explores the question of whether the official US government position on UFOs is a "carefully orchestrated deception." It raises a lot of interesting questions. I'm no conspiracy theorist, but I'm skeptical that the government tells us all it knows. Cover-ups have been uncovered throughout history. It's not much of a stretch to think the government might be hiding something. And if "They" are here, why? Archetype of the UFO explores the question of what UFOs might be, where they might come from and whether they exist in our - or any reality.

I don't know if space travel over long distances is really possible. I lack the scientific background to answer that question. But Forbidden Science dives into the realm of alternative science and makes me think it might be more possible than we've been led to beleive. Research by Nikola Tesla, Immanuel Velikovsky and many others, often suppressed by government, explores amazing possibilities, such as the ability to harness free energy from space and the power of water and spiritual science among other Things. It's a fascinating read.

I suppose if I knew the answer to the UFO question, I'd be in a different line of work. But I think it's wise to keep an open mind and look at all the evidence even (maybe especially!) when it comes from sources outside official channels. I like to keep an open mind, not so open that my brains fall out on the floor, but open enough to entertain all the possibilities. Of course, you'll have to make up your own mind.

See you next week. Until then, I'll be watching the skies...

Bobby

Have you been following the break-up of the Russian spy ring in the U.S.? The reporters are all saying that it reads like something out of a cold war novel and they aren't kidding. The eleven alleged spies apparently led normal American lives (whatever that means). Four of the couples were married. They raised All American kids, went to backyard barbecues, they had jobs, mortgages and even paid taxes. No one in their circles of friends and acquaintances ever suspected they were working for the Russian government. Gives you pause for thought, doesn't it?

Well, I came up with a few Things to help you spy on the spies, detect hidden radio signals and uncover hidden cameras. It seems fitting to start with our replica of the 3x18 binoculars used by both the Russian KGB & the CIA during WWII and the Cold War. It's easy to conceal them in a pocket or right in the palm of your hand. Plus, you also get a compact set of 5x30 binoculars with center-wheel focus. You can spy on more than soccer goals and rare birds with these binoculars.

And our spy sunglasses (yes, that's what we actually call them) have mirrored interior lenses that work like a car's rear view mirror. The dark smoke-grey inner lenses reflect what's going on behind you, so you can watch without being watched. Cool. But if you need to record what your eyes spy, our covert sunglasses with real-time video & audio recording can secretly take videos or stills with the two megapixel camera hidden inside. They look like any pair of sunglasses, but with an external card, you can store up to eight gigabytes of super spy action. Then just plug into a computer, retrieve the evidence and bust up your own spy ring!

While you're spying on the spies, you definitely want to know if they're spying on you. The answer? High-tech countersurveillance! This radio frequency detector is cleverly disguised as a pen, which of course really writes. Wouldn't be much of a disguise if it didn't, would it. It detects phone taps and hidden cameras with the imperceptible click of a button. And this handheld RF detector is perfect for home and office because it detects almost the entire radio broadcast spectrum, the built-in sensitivity tuner automatically scans variable distances and multiple channels, and it eliminates background noise for a truly clean sweep.

Now that you have all the tools, maybe you can catch the next "spy next door."

I'll see you next week.
Bobby