We're getting closer and closer to living in the world Star Trek creator Gene Rodenberry envisioned fifty years ago. For a little perspective, when Star Trek first aired in 1966, we had to change the channel by hand if we didn't want to watch it. We used rotary phones lashed to the wall with hard wires. And sending humans or robots to foreign worlds was still a distant dream.

Now Star Trek tech is a big part of today's world. Cell phones, scalpel-free surgery and probes that gather and relay information about alien planets are just a few of the predictions made by the televison series. And now, scientists are getting closer to developing a "cloaking device." Researchers at the University of Texas at Austin announced that they successfully cloaked a 3-D object standing in free space from microwave view.

Scientists cloaked a cylindrical object in plasmonic metamaterials, which scatters microwaves instead of allowing them to bounce back to detectors and Voila! the object was invisible. The next challenge is to adapt the technique to cloak larger objects from visible light--and the human eye. Who knows? Maybe one day we'll send a cloaked spaceship to explore "strange new worlds" and even observe a distant species before making First Contact.

See you next week,
Bobby

Most of the country is fully in the grip of Old Man Winter right now. Snow. Ice. Freezing rain. Yuk. Makes me glad I live in Florida. Especially when I see cars and people sliding all over icy roads and sidewalks. Because, being a total klutz, I would surely injure myself and/or others.

But if you're dealing with the Big Bad Chill right now, the Weather Channel has some helpful driving tips. Like what to do if your front or rear wheels skid (steer into the direction of the skid.) And if you get stuck, they have some great advice for getting unstuck. Like keeping kitty litter in your emergency kit. Hadn't thought of that one.

Walking on snow and ice can be very dangerous, too. You need the right shoes to give you some traction. I don't think my flip-flops would be of much use. Also, you have to walk consciously and slowly. Something I'm not so good at. I'm more of a "Charge!" kind of walker. I'd end up on my tailbone for sure. Follow these tips from Oklahoma State University and stay safe!

See you next week,
Bobby

Want to lose weight, but hate the idea of all that sweaty exercising? Yeah, me, too. But mabye there's hope for us. Researchers have discovered a hormone they call "irisin." It's released when you exercise, stimulating the body to burn calories and helping regulate blood glucose.

Now you can get it in a pill. Harvard Medical School experts say the pill could be used to treat obesity, diabetes, cancer and other weight-related health problems. But then they turn right around and say the pill shouldn't be used to replace exercise. Great. First they say there's a magic pill and then they tell you not to take it. Just like a doctor.

It's all very experimental right now anyway. And it's not likely I could get a prescription for it. Not from my slim, trim, exercise-obsessed doctor. I can tell he thinks I'm just lazy. Not that I'm saying he's wrong...I just think that's a lousy Thing to think about a person who's helping you pay off your new hot tub.

So, until the pill is released for over-the-counter sale and/or I get a new doctor, I guess I'm stuck with the exercise Thing.

See you next week,
Bobby

Now that the holiday season is over, it's political season. Which ranks right up there with tax season if you ask me. Painful, complicated and full of Things you don't want to do. Like learn new tax laws. Or listen to pontificating pundits.

And unlike the holiday season or tax season, the political season is so long that it seems never-ending. I'm so tired of this party and that party and the other party flinging mud at each other. Every election it's the same Thing. And every election we have to try to sort through all this complete nonsense in order to make very important choices.

My brother-in-law asked me why I even bother to vote. He thinks it's a waste of time. I had no answer at the time (I always think of great comebacks long after a conversation has ended) but if I had been able to think of it, I would have quoted Plato at him: "One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors." I'm pretty sure that happens these days even when we do participate in politics, but that's why I vote.

At least in 2012, other Things will offer some diversion. Like the Mayan apocalypse. And the alignment of the planets. You know, Doomsday. Which is a lot more pleasant to contemplate than politics and politicians!

See you next week,
Bobby

Every year, I make a bunch of New Year's resolutions and then I spend the rest of the year breaking them. Because let's face it, if I really wanted to do all those Things, I would have been doing them all year long. Yet I feel compelled to make these year-end promises, which are -- in the final analysis -- outright lies. So this year, I've decided to make resolutions I can keep:

I am not going to try to lose weight. Every year, it's the same Thing. I diet and exercise until I'm exhausted and half-starved. By Valentine's Day, my friends, family and co-workers begin dropping not-very-subtle hints that I might want to do someThing about my "blood sugar." And by "blood sugar" they mean my foul mood and rotten attitude. So this year, I'll just eat healthier. Maybe I'll lose some fat, maybe not. But at least I won't lose my friends for the first part of the year.

I'm not getting in shape - whatever that means. I will not work my biceps, triceps, quadriceps abs, pecs or any other muscle groups until they scream for mercy. I don't even remember what and where those Things are from last year's 6-week ride through the house of horrors people call a "gym." What I do remember is it hurt. Not this year. No way. What I will do is take stairs instead of elevators, walk instead of drive when I can and park at the outer edge of the lot at work. It might not be aerobic exercise, but I'll bet those little Things will burn up at least a few calories.

My theory is this: small changes will be easier to stick to than radical resolutions. If not, well, I can always buy bigger t-shirts.

See you next year,
Bobby

Christmas is almost here! Lots of family. Piles of presents. Way too much food. And a few extra days off work to play with all my new toys and Things. Woo-hoo!

But before we close up shop, I'd like to take a minute to thank our fans and fellow lovers of all Things weird, wild and wacky. All of us here at Things wish you a very happy (and hopefully funny, shocking and silly) holiday.

Next year we'll have lots to talk about including the Mayan 2012 prophecy, new planets and the elections -- along with all the crazy new Things we dig up and bring back from the four corners of the world. So, for Christmas I'd like to leave you with our favorite and most simple holiday sentiment: Things that go pffft! in the night.

See you after the holiday,
Bobby

If you Google "who invented bobbleheads?" you'll get as many answers as there are bobbleheads. No one seems to agree on the origins of these venerable figures. The character that started the current craze was Willy Mays, developed as a marketing give-away for the San Francisco Giants. But bobbleheads were around long before the "Say Hey Kid" picked up a bat or fielded a ball.

If you believe the Wiki, the toy was first mentioned in literature in 1842. About a hundred years later, bobbleheads of papier maché hit the market and ten years later, Major League Baseball released a bobblehead for each of its teams. All of them had the same face.

At the end of the 90s, bobbleheads were everywhere. And they're not just for sports fans anymore. There are bobbleheads made in the image of TV and movie characters, political figures, rock stars and Winners. Like the Beanie Baby, bobbleheads started as a surprise fad and became a lasting part of popular culture. And why not? These days they can talk, sing and even fart. What's not to love about a Thing with such a rich evolutionary history?

See you next week,
Bobby

NASA seems to have stumbled upon "Earth's twin," a planet that seems ideally suited to support life. The Kepler Telescope has been pointed at a region of space that contains over 100,00 stars for the last couple of years. And it seems they've hit pay dirt. The planet is called Kepler-22b and according to NASA, the planet's temperature is around 72 degrees - not too hot and not too cold. It's in the "habitable zone" where a planet could support liquid water and its sun is very much like our own.

But here's the really interesting Thing: the US Air Force Space Command has hired SETI to take a peek, restarting the Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence with a quick infusion of cash. But why? Does the government really think there could be an Earth-like civilization on our twin planet? And if so, do they believe the inhabitants might be sufficiently advanced to travel the 600 light years between our solar systems? Not according to the "official" version of the story. SETI claims that Space Command claims that "...funds necessary for observatory re-activation and operations are being provided by the United States Air Force as part of a formal assessment of the instrument's utility for Space Situational Awareness ..."

Yeah, right. We're restarting SETI to ensure we can track local traffic in Earth's orbit. And if you believe that far-fetched story, you might as well believe in the aliens, too. In my not-so-humble opinion, the idea that intelligent life exists beyond Earth is more believable than anyThing the Air Force says. Maybe that's just me. But then again, maybe not.

See you next week,
Bobby

We do Christmas a little differently here at Things. We still want to bring joy to the world, but we just have to add a little sarcasm, a little silliness and of course, a little farting to the mix. These three Things are my top picks for a sarcastic, silly, smelly holiday.

Let's start with the gifts. Sure, you could go out and get wrapping paper of silver and gold or paper printed with snowy, heart-melting holiday scenes, but everyone is doing that. Why not go with someThing unique? SomeThing completely different? SomeThing so funny that the paper is worth saving?

Next up is our disgruntled snowman. He sings Rodney Carrington's "Who Put The D**k On The Snowman" and if you look closely, you'll see why he's so upset. A thimble? Even a snowman deserves a better Christmas package than that! Check out the video and then add him to your holiday decor. Whether they think it's funny or disgusting, a Thing like this is sure to get a rise out of everyone.

And last but(t) not least, my favorite ornament of the year--Santa's behind! Why? Because it plays "Deck the Halls?" No, because it plays the song in farts! You never heard Santa scat like this! Have a listen. It's the perfect stocking stuffer, tree ornament or package decoration for every fan of flatulence on your list. It's so festive, I'm thinking of doing my whole tree in them!

See you next week,
Bobby

Black Friday. Black Friday. Black Friday. It's the only Thing I hear about on the news, at home, at the office. Not that I don't like the idea of saving big money on Christmas presents. Everyone likes that idea. What I don't like? Malls. Huge chain stores with parking lots so big that you have to take a taxi from your car to the store entrance. And crowds. So, I'm thinking Black Friday shopping probably isn't my Thing. Not your Thing, either? You're in luck. We're offering 25% off of our sale merchandise this weekend. No driving. No parking. No lines to stand in. Just point and click your way to great deals on cool Things that everyone wants for Christmas. Like these:

Animated Dumping Santa. Think you made Santa's list this year? Better check twice to make sure you made the right list! This Thing is one of the funniest decorations I've seen. He's just like the real Santa only what he puts down the chimney might be worse than a little coal in your stocking! Check out the video. Maybe if you were really good this year, you'll get some dirt instead of coal. UFO dirt, that is. Right from the site of the UFO crash at Roswell, New Mexico, this little bag of desert dirt is one of our bestselling Things. And it's on sale. And you get an extra 25% off!

Baseball season might be over, but the competition can go on with our MLB Boxing Puppets. I got two of these Things. One for my uncle, a Bostonian transplant and one for my brother-in-law, a true New Yorker, though he's been transplanted to Florida. They'll both be at my sister's house on Christmas morning. I can't wait for the games to begin!

Speaking of games, here's one of my favorites: Rolling Stones Monopoly. Instead of building a real estate empire, you build a killer music collection, which is way cooler if you ask me. Plus, the game pieces are Things like Tour Bus and Drum Set (I get to be Drum Set!) It's just like regular Monopoly, only rockin'! And then there's Family Guy Operation, which is just like regular Operation only with screams and farts and a maniacal, homicidal baby nurse assisting in surgery. It's a Freakin' Sweet Thing to give (or get) for Christmas.

Happy Thanksgiving and Happy Black Friday. I'll see you after the holiday,
Bobby