It's time to start building our list of Things to read for the summer. You won't find the classics or any New York Times best sellers on my list of beachworthy books.

At the top of my list is Uncle John's True Crime Book. From dopey dopers (you can't believe where they'll hide Things!) to silly sentences to serial killer quips, it really is a fun read. Much more fun than you'd expect from a true crime book, but exactly what you'd expect from the Uncle John's series. Which is why the 24-Karat Gold Bathroom Reader is (pardon the pun) number two on my list. As always, organized by the length of your expected sitting, you can learn about everyThing from the biggest product flops in history to people who did surgery on themselves to (perhaps related) people famous for how they died.

As its name implies, The Fart Dictionary will help you discover and define types of flatulence - yours or theirs. You'll learn the ins and outs of all kinds of emissions, from the abandoned fart (a fart left to be enjoyed by others; i.e. elevator exit, crowded room or your supervisor's office) to the zombie fart (a fart whose seems to return to life with renewed vigor every few minutes). For a little more substantial reading, someThing more solid, if you will, pick up A Ton of Crap. It's full of crap you should know, but might not. Like when to use a semi-colon and how the zero functions as a placeholder. Like I was, you might be disappointed to learn this isn't a book about poop, but trust me: you'll like this book. It's full of interesting crap - even if none of it is actually about crap.

Last, but most definitely not least is the Mammoth Book Of Weird But True. You've heard the cliché "truth is stranger than fiction"? Ever wonder how a cliché becomes a cliché? Because they're true! This book wins my "best time-waster" award for the summer. A chimp who makes prank calls? It happened. A pickpocket trout? Yep. Panda porn? All true. And all better than any urban legend destined for your email inbox this summer. It's a mammoth trip through Things strange, stupid, weird, wacky, morbid, disgusting and most of all funny.

Happy reading! I'll see you next week,
Bobby

We love all Things comic around here, including and especially comic books. On Free Comic Book Day, stores around the country will give away over 2 million comic books -- free.

We've had a relationship with comic books since the beginning of the art form. Back then, our "Things You Never Knew Existed" catalog was called the "Johnson Smith & Co." catalog. We were among the first to advertise in comic books. The ads were densely packed pages of astounding merchandise that -- even then -- you couldn't possibly live without. This ad was the back cover of the very first issue of "Action Comics" in 1938. You can click on it for a larger version if you're dying to find out how much a Whoopee Cushion cost in '38.

"Coming across their ad was like encountering an intricate wallpaper sample," says Imprint writer J.J. Sedelmaier, "but it was also like a friend that you could count on to appear in every issue with your favorite superhero or comic book character." And those ads influenced generations of comic book and graphic artists.

Since we're so closely related to comics, Free Comic Book Day feels like a family holiday. A lot of us will hit the comic book stores as a group tomorrow. We think of it as of a mobile company picnic -- without the ants and sunburn.

See you next week,
Bobby

Before computers came along, nerds and geeks weren't in very high demand. I know. I was one. I am one. I like math and science and computers and comic books and superheroes and I get sweaty-nervous in unfamiliar social situations and my favorite dessert is pie (guess why.) But now everyone needs a nerd or a geek because they need a computer guy or girl. And suddenly, it's hip to be square. Well, almost.

It's not exactly cool to be a nerd yet, but I think we're making serious inroads. There's even a WikiHow to show you what it takes to become a nerd. Honest. Never thought I would see the day. It's not complete and the distinction it makes between the words "geek" and "nerd" don't stand up to the test of popular use, but it's a fun read.

Very popular nerd Paul Graham even wrote an article about why nerds are so unpopular. Since he authored the very first web application (Viaweb) and described a statistical SPAM filter that even now keeps unwanted mail out of my inbox, his opinion matters to me. So -- spoiler alert -- I'll give you the gist of it: nerds would rather be smart than liked.

Why? Because nerds might not be able to navigate the pitfalls of a formal dinner party or speak to the opposite sex without choking, but only a nerd or a computer geek knows what to do in a kernel panic. Windows' Blue Screen of Death and Mac's classic Crash Bomb are a few of our favorite Things. Nerds are curious people. Nerds want to know Things and then design Things and then build Things. That's why we now have computers and smart phones and tablets. Because they're Things nerds think are cool. Who knew everyone else would think so, too?

See you next week,
Bobby

No surprise here: I like gross Things. Smelly bodily functions or body parts, unexpected emissions of gas or goo -- it's the little Things in life that make me happy. Things like snot, puke and farts. So when we started getting a whole batch of new snotty, barfy, flatulent Things, well...just imagine a six-foot kid at Christmas with a whole warehouse full of new toys.They finally threw me out so they could get some work done, but I had a blog to write anyway.

Let's start with snot. Boogers. Loogies. All Things goo that emanate from the throat or nose or (preferably) both are funny. Nose pickers are funny. Not just because sometimes you can catch them knuckle deep in boogery bliss, but because once they dislodge whatever they were digging for, they rarely know where to put it. They look at what they've excavated like, "now what?" And you wonder if they shouldn't have thought of that before starting such an epic expedition. Now there's a Boogie Box for that. A perfect companion to our fake snot gag. It's made of some ooey-gooey, truly disgusting I-don't-know-what stuff, but whatever it is, it really looks like snot. A lot.

Next up is belly up. Through the mouth, I mean. The Official Barf Book will either make you laugh or gross you out more than actual vomit. Or both. You can learn a lot from this book. Like rats can't puke. Did you know that? Me, either. That does explain how they can make their homes next to underground rivers of human excrement. Not disgusting enough for you? Read the section on fecal vomit. Yes, you read that right: fecal vomit. Fecal vomit. Totally gross. Totally cool. Totally the topic I'll be launching at my sister's next boring dinner party. I'll have to bring the fake vomit, too. Because what we're looking for here is Maximum Gross-out Potential, not just a little boredom relief.

A little further to the south, we have my favorite Thing of all Things gross: farts. The funny Thing about farts is that farts are only funny when they're shared. Go ahead, try it. Fart when you're alone and see if makes you laugh. Then go fart in front of somebody. See? That's funny! They laugh, you laugh. Public flatulence is funny because it's embarrassing. People laugh at embarrassing Things. Laughing breaks the social tension between the one who broke wind and his or her victims. I guess it's too bad laughter isn't an air freshener, too. But even when they're not smelly or real, farting is the funniest Thing a human being can do. How do I know that flatulence the most hilarious bodily emission of all? Because all Things fart related have been among our bestsellers for close to a hundred years. And history doesn't lie...

See you next week,
Bobby

Circling the Earth in my orbital spaceship I marveled at the beauty of our planet. People of the world, let us safeguard and enhance this beauty — not destroy it! ~Yuri Gagarin, first person in space

This has got to be one of the biggest parties ever. 225 events. 57 countries. 7 continents. It's Yuri's Night. The night the entire world celebrates the miracle of human space flight.

On April 12, 1961 cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin was the first person to ever enter space and orbit the earth in a bell-shaped capsule called "Vostok 1." You can read more about the first manned space flight in the "Encyclopedia Astronautica," which chronicles the entire flight from launch to landing.

Exactly 20 years later, on April 12, 1981, NASA launched its first space shuttle. In between we sent men to the moon. Back then it was a race between rival nations. Now we launch communications satellites, telescopes, probes and messages to alien species into space. We routinely send men and women from all over the globe to live in space for months at a time.

We explore alien worlds with robotic rovers. Satellites in geosynchronous orbit give us our position anywhere on the face of the planet. Telescopes peer farther and deeper into the universe, all the way back to the beginning of time, to the Big Bang. It's only been 51 years since Gagarin orbited the earth for the first time and look at us now. Look at what humanity has accomplished -- together -- in space. If that isn't reason for a global party, I don't know what is!

See you next week,
Bobby