Every year, I make a bunch of New Year's resolutions and then I spend the rest of the year breaking them. Because let's face it, if I really wanted to do all those Things, I would have been doing them all year long. Yet I feel compelled to make these year-end promises, which are -- in the final analysis -- outright lies. So this year, I've decided to make resolutions I can keep:

I am not going to try to lose weight. Every year, it's the same Thing. I diet and exercise until I'm exhausted and half-starved. By Valentine's Day, my friends, family and co-workers begin dropping not-very-subtle hints that I might want to do someThing about my "blood sugar." And by "blood sugar" they mean my foul mood and rotten attitude. So this year, I'll just eat healthier. Maybe I'll lose some fat, maybe not. But at least I won't lose my friends for the first part of the year.

I'm not getting in shape - whatever that means. I will not work my biceps, triceps, quadriceps abs, pecs or any other muscle groups until they scream for mercy. I don't even remember what and where those Things are from last year's 6-week ride through the house of horrors people call a "gym." What I do remember is it hurt. Not this year. No way. What I will do is take stairs instead of elevators, walk instead of drive when I can and park at the outer edge of the lot at work. It might not be aerobic exercise, but I'll bet those little Things will burn up at least a few calories.

My theory is this: small changes will be easier to stick to than radical resolutions. If not, well, I can always buy bigger t-shirts.

See you next year,
Bobby